Rob squeezed the phone harder as it rang and rang; she wasn’t answering. The end of the modern world and she wasn’t going to pick up because she didn’t like what he was going to say? Really? This couldn’t be happening.
He tabbed through his phone calls. Five unanswered. He shook his head and started to write a text.
He typed franticly as the other workers trying to pack up the office for evacuation gave him dirty looks.
Del, answer your damn phone. We need to talk about this.
I am very busy and important.
No time for zombies.
Well, at least she wasn’t pretending she was an answering machine again. A tall blond with a scowl made a point of tossing a large stack of folders on his disaster of a desk, causing everything to cascade off onto his lap then the floor.
“Oh hey, there’s my keyboard,” he said, pressing send.
I prefer to classify them as infected with the San Diego virus.
You can forget about the next election. If you don’t do something about those bridges soon, there won’t be a Washington!
Catchy, G-Man.
What the hell is a G-Man?
Stands for “government.”
Have you talked with Donald Hopkins… one of the original G-men? You can replace ‘man’ with ‘men’ right?
Well, I’m not the arbiter of the English language but uh… sure. And no, I haven’t talked with Donald.
That’s because we’ve lost Portland, and the rest of Oregon is in shambles. There is only a small resistance left.
Well, if you already knew I hadn’t talked to him, why did you ask?
You never know, he might have escaped across that FULLY functional bridge you have there.
That’s what INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE BRIDGES are for.
Please, you don’t upkeep half of them!
You have the virus knocking on your door, if you don’t give the order we are going to lose the whole northwest.
Lose it to what, a bad sense of humor?
It would be better than the one it’s got now. I’m afraid it wouldn’t last long when the virus comes…
Laughter is the best medicine, Mr. Director.
Think it can cure this? <<< Attached Video: Wedding_gone_bad.mp4 >>>
What is this, a video of your cat?
Very cute, I’m sure your cat is A FUCKING ZOMBIE. HOLY SHIT.
What just hit the camera? Was that a SPLEEN?
If you’d like I can have it sent for you laugh at and cure. I’ve got this great bridge I can send them over.
My biology is rusty but there are definitely inside things ON THE OUTSIDE. What the hell? Virus? Viruses give you the sniffles, not internal bleeding!
BRB, I’m just over her packing these things up for you.
You know, ferries are very underrated.
Just… do me one favor?
I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of all this flesh-eating.
Do you hear with your eyeballs? Sheesh, come on.
I cede your point.
Please leave your message after the beep.
Beep you, asshole.
Just… film it, will you? I like explosions.